Elegance is learned, my friend.

(note: All my apologies go out to adopted black babies, Marc Zuckerberg, Miley Cyrus, everyone from Poughkeepsie, Sandra Bullock, and lovers of correct punctuation and grammar everywhere. I was angry and I needed to make a point.)

Spring has sprung, and we all know what that means...Yes the new season of Real Housewives of New Jersey is in full swing, but also, love is in the air for some of us. And as happy as I am for everyone (really. I'm over my bitter single phase) There are a many a facebook faux pas being made and its time to import some of my infinite DPTonF knowledge to the kids, cause y'all need it.

We've discussed relationships and relationship status on the blog before, but it bears reiterating. Just know that if you decide to put that shit out there, be ready to deal with all that comes with it when it comes crashing down in flames (Yes, I'm talking to you and your new black baby, Sandra Bullock) which leads me to this point...FACEBOOK IS FOREVER! Shit, the INTERNET IS FOREVER. You can disable that account, but guess what? Whatever you wrote is there forever. There is this thing that takes snapshots of the Internet (I don't recall the name of it, but its very creepy and LOST like and it freaks me out) and as the Jew pointed out back in the day, even when you "delete" your account, it's still there.

Let's face it, Marc Zuckerberg is basically Hitler and the facebook staff are basically Nazi's and the book of faces is Germany and we are the Germans and we are too far deep in it now to go back to the old country. Don't believe me cause that horribly offensive analogy I just made? Go read what facebook has to say about privacy settings or read up on some of Zuckerberg's practices.

But we aren't here to bash facebook, and lets be honest, are any of us going to delete our accounts now? Let's just have a little discretion. I know he broke your heart, started dating your cousin from Poughkeepsie, stole fifteen dollars from your bank account, has a tiny penis, and has all three Miley Cyrus albums on his iPod, but do WE really need to know all that? If we are truly your friends we already know he's douchebag, and if we aren't your friend? Well now he's a douchebag and so are you for telling everyone AND now we're laughing at the fact that you just went batshit crazy and had a therapy session on facebook, and as much as I welcome your crazy for my own enjoyment, its not classy and as the tag line says "IT AIN'T CUTE".

and for GOD's SAKE. I'M NOT VOTING FOR YOU TO BE ON GLEE.

-The Gay