A tramp stamp baby is a timeless trend.

It’s been a while, dear readers. I’ve been busy with my movie collection, and keeping the Slut happy. Need more clues as to who this is? If so… then you really just don’t know me at all. Sad face. It’s Blockbuster, yet again. I’m taking a break from my slasher-film marathon because I feel there’s something that needs to be said. It can’t wait.

Ok, bitches… I’m going to launch a preemptive strike here. That’s right… I’m going to Pearl Harbor you all right now (Too soon? I can never tell…). As we all know, there’s a certain event happening this Saturday night. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Halloween… All Hallows Eve… The Festival of Samhain… or as it’s become known in the last decade or two, The Night In Which Drunken Hookers Put On The Skankiest Thing They Can Find In A Halloween Store And Act Trashy And Blame It On The Costume. Don’t get me wrong… I have the utmost respect for Police Officers, Nurses, Flight Attendants, French Maids, and Pirates… but these “costumes” are really just a pathetic excuse to unleash your inner ho… am I correct?

Now… if you DO feel the need to buy yourself a “costume” where the biggest piece of material on it is the “Washing Instructions” tag… and pictures are taken… please, please, please… for the love of Ray J… Don’t Put That On Facebook! It’s really not cute. Guess what… If I want to see silly scantily-clad women acting whorish, I’ll just turn on Skin-omax after 12:15am to watch “The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String” or “Cleavagefield” or “The DaVinci Coed” (I am NOT making these titles up).

My point is, Skank-Hos… don’t try to distract me from the sole-reason I frequent the lovely Book of Faces with your “scandalous ‘OMG! I can’t believe how trashy I look! Look at how trashy I look!’” photos. I am here for the same reason 92.6% of us are here. To anonymously stalk people I haven’t seen or spoken to in 8 years. Your tramp-stamped ass-crack hanging precariously out of your candy striper “uniform” will not deter or distract me. It’ll just make me sad for you. It’ll also make your father cry tears of blood, because he’s your friend and he logs on to see how you’re doing and instead sees you dressed as a dominatrix with your teeth on some random guy’s nipple. It’s the costume’s fault… right?

Just don’t do it. You’re not cool… you’re just a hooker.

I’m out like a blind kid in Tee-Ball!
~Blockbuster

Don't be tardy for the party

Ok, we need to have a talk. Facebook events, you’re clingy. I know, I know I used the word “Clingy” but ya know what it’s necessary. Get off my back, I need some space. I can’t breathe. I’m getting claustrophobic with all these damn reminders and updates. Guess what you sent me an event invite and I either RSVP yeah or neigh. I didn’t sign up for an update on a 24 hour basis; this ain’t Hurricane Katrina, you’re not CNN or even NY1 for that matter. This has to stop. You’re a facebook event to some shit there’s a 90% chance I’m not half as interested in attending as you are in getting people to fill your seats or whatever the occasion. The theatre events are the worst. I don’t care you just added a matinee or this is your closing performance. You’re cluttering my inbox, I’m not interested anymore. I delete your messages before reading them. Yeah, that’s what it’s come to. Sad really. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve deleted so many messages that I don’t recall who or what your organization is & ya know what the only reason I care is so I can remember not to go to or sign up to go to any of your following events because I don’t want to repeat this kind of behavior. Bitch you’re suffocating me. As Mariah Carey sings in her new single, “Why you so obsessed with me?”. Yeah I’m a Mariah Carey girl, what of it?

Thought so. Now stop messaging me. It’s over, we’re through. And stop sending me flowers. Now get some Kleenex and wipe away your tears, you look a mess.

See ya never,
The Slut