Mama said knock you out

You guys, I have to call someone out. Not by name of course, not our style here at DPTonF. But something very troubling was brought to my attention recently and I feel so strongly about it – it must be discussed. For most rational, functional human beings, I venture to guess that the following statements will be unnecessary. But for those out there who LIVE for Facebook attention…this one’s for you.

NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU:

a) Take a picture of yourself on the toilet, visibly and actively using the facilities
b) Post that picture on Facebook
c) Tag yourself in said picture
d) Post and tag yourself in multiple, similar photos of the aforementioned activity

Sure, sometimes our friends catch us at inopportune moments with our pants around our ankles (literally) and it’s all LOLZ and ROFL. Go ahead, giggle about it with your besties (ugh, I just used that word in a sentence) – absolutely no harm in that. But please tell me why…WHY…FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY WOULD YOU POST THAT?! AND TAG YOURSELF IN IT FOR FUCK’S SAKE?!

The only, ONLY, time this is acceptable and/or hilarious is if your photo meets the following requirements:

1. From the position of the photographer, it is not entirely apparent whether you really are dropping the kids off at the pool or not
2. You are wearing a football helmet
3. You are wearing a t-shirt that says “Kiss me, I’m shitfaced”

THAT IS THE ONE AND ONLY EXCEPTION – AND IT HAS BEEN DONE, OK?

No one wants to be casually scrolling through your recent photo album and find your personal version of “2 girls 1 cup”. And if they ARE hoping to find pictures of this nature, I sincerely doubt that Facebook is the place that person should be. In fact, I’ll call To Catch a Predator myself…although I guess that show doesn’t really apply to situations like this… REGARDLESS. It is gross and inappropriate.

A few years ago Jenny McCarthy did a Candie’s shoe ad where she was sitting on a toilet with her panties down. And guess what? No one thought that was cute either. Except maybe the shoe company…but no one really wears Candie’s anymore, do they? Hmm…hint hint. And now Ms. McCarthy is happily pseudo-married to Jim Carrey and raises money and awareness for autism. So, there is hope for you yet Patty Potty Pictures.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go delete those pictures I posted to document my eating disorder progress.

Toodles,

The Blonde