Saturday, February 7, 2009

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that

*I'd like to add a disclaimer to this blog. It may lack some of the normal funny and cleverness a typical DPTonF blog entry may have. "I Love Money 2" is on. I was REALLY busy.


So, loyal DPTonF reader. I have a confession to make. All those times you tried to message me on facebook chat and I didn't answer because I was "Away"...I wasn't. I was actually right there waiting for a moment where I could log off facebook so I didn't have to talk to you. I know I totally deserve an Etta James style ass whipping for that and I'm really, really sorry. But, in my defense I was not without reason for ignoring you. You and I both know I've stalked you obsessively and I know everything that's going on in your life, or if we are actual friends (i.e. I speak to you outside the realm we call the Internet) we don't need to catch up. Frankly, it just makes this already awkward non relationship we have a little more awkward, and we ALL know I don't need anymore awkward relationships in my life.

Lets play our favorite game Hypothetical Conversation we started a few blog entries back. I will once again play all knowing gay with the winning personality, great smile, who somehow can't seem to get a date even though everyone tells him how wonderful he is. And you will once again play unsuspecting victim this blog was created to save. Our setting is a typical day at your computer screen. You, unsuspecting victim, see me, all knowing gay, online and want to talk!

Unsuspecting: Hey! What's up!

All knowing gay: Hey. How are you?!?

Unsuspecting: Good. You?

All knowing gay: Good.

(Twenty minutes passes by and by this point I've stalked every ex boyfriend I've ever had and really need to navigate to a new website)

All Knowing gay: So...

Unsuspecting: ????

Do you see how this might be a bit annoying to me? Do you see how this may make me want to banish you off my friends list never to be heard of again? Good.

My time is precious like a Zac Efron poster. Don't waste it.

Smooches,

The Gay
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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 8, 2009 at 10:41 PM

    God do I miss you! Facebook chat is just a bad idea and I refuse to use it.

    ReplyDelete

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