How many times they take your picture Patty??

So today is February 2, 2009 and if you don’t have a facebook, we need to have an intervention. Especially if you’re still workin’ off old school myspace and say goodbye to our friendship if your ass is on friendster! Facebook is so fetch (“stop trying to make fetch happen”) no but it’s the cream of the crop when we’re talking about ..social networks and not bad metaphors referencing crops. Seriously join the book of faces and watch your life be ten times better.

Setting up the account is oober easy: now we’ve discussed the simplicity of the name portion of the set up. You enter your name and your name only – again, shouldn’t be too hard. Ya know what else isn’t too hard: the picture portion. Now let me make it clear in case you’re one of those people. The picture is supposed to be of you. I’m sure you have several, choose any one. (keep in mind when choosing one should adhere to a previous entry where the gay outlines the rubric for appropriate photos) other than that it could be the one of you dressed as a puple plush unicorn or your headshot – outdated as it may be, maybe just a candid photo someone took of you at a party. But tell me why? Why would you choose a picture that’s
1.) not only not of you but
2.) isn’t even a person.
The beach is pretty, I’ve seen it. That really special tree in central park: also lovely – keep ‘em on facebook – put them in an album but why choose it as the photo that’s supposed to represent you? People trying to find you that come up with several “Margo Jane Hanssenn” profiles will not know who you are if they’re looking at a photo of a caterpillar in metamorphosis. We wanna see that freckled, four eyed, spiral curled red head we knew in high school (or what you’ve turned into over the years) not a mid morph butterfly. It’s just helpful as we’re on here to meet and keep in touch with people.

And for those of you opting against the profile picture and have that sky blue/murky gray silhouette of a person (or those of you who remember the old days: that question mark), to those people I say why are you on facebook??? How hard is it, seriously? If you don’t have a photo up then we can’t properly stalk you and if not on facebook for stalking, what are you here for? What’s the point? If you can’t be bothered to put a picture up, you’re damn sure not bothered to fill out the rest of the profile or even get on from time to time and do anything. (And people sub story here: fill out the whole profile: none of this join facebook and every category is blank, you have less than 5 friends and no witty repartee – again how are we supposed to stalk you.)

Ps. Don’t pull that “I don’t have a photo” cuz ya do and if you don’t I’m sure someone else on facebook does – use that one. Be resourceful, not lazy. If you truly don’t have a pic to use - then I say go ahead and upload that thumbnail image of the rustling leaves where no human is present. This is for a temporary time though. There’s a leeway that I’ll get into later but this above portion was more so for you people that start a profile with that particular photo that you happened to have at the moment and then you never get around to changing it.

The profile picture is of significant importance people, it says a lot about you and gives a sneak peak of your personality. So though you were also advised against the nudey pics in a previous blog I’d like to piggy back that and say when you have one of those ill advised, photos of your nearly nude gumby resembling body wearing a top hat showing off your rib bones or that artistic angle of you in the shower as your profile pic we think that means you’re an attention whore or whore in general. I kid, I kid – no need to throw around harsh words. It’s just it’s not the best choice for a profile picture. Nor is the famous photo of Marilyn with the flowy dress over the sidewalk grate – we know you’re not that celebrity, don’t play.

I will give you leeway on the profile photo. I don’t have a problem (not that I’m the maker of all rules sanctioning facebook profile photos…but I mean this blog was created b/c we do have a keen eye and sharp judgement for these things) right, right back to what I was saying: I don’t have a problem with occasionally for a short period of time having a photo up of something/someone other than you. For instance when you’re supporting someone

ie. 2009 presidential election I’m all about you sporting your Kodak moments of Obams. When WallE came out, it was brilliant – no shame in puttin’ the cute li’l guy as your profile picture. However it’s a momentary thing folks. Move on and repost that good ‘ole fashioned photo of your bright, beautiful face.

~le slut