Dear Gays and Slutty girls of Facebook,
I'm glad you stuck to your New Years resolutions and ate a healthy diet and went to the gym everyday. Congrats! God knows I didn't. But seriously, the racy cell phone pictures in front of the mirror is too much. TOO MUCH! Its tacky, its unnecessary and the lighting is bad. No one wants to see your toothpaste stained mirror or the dirty clothes on your bathroom floor. I know that this is all about rebelling against the machine. For the gays, its all about fighting against your former fat kid self, and for the slutty girls, its all about the father that didn't love you enough. We've bought the book, read it, turned it into a movie, then a musical, then back to a movie. WE GET IT! But lets look at this from another perspective.
Just think about what your poor Grandma Lynn from Kansas would think if she saw you lifting up your shirt, all naked, ass out, with nothing but your ideals keeping you warm. My guess is that she would be mortified and would tell you to cover up. And as for us mortal non worked out gays and non slutty girls that belong to facebook? We are not worthy. We can't grate cheese on our abs and receive hundreds of picture comments and it makes us totes sad. So don't rub it in, OK?
But I feel that I'm not making my point clear enough.
ALL PICTURES OF YOU ON FACEBOOK SHOULD:
1. FEATURE YOU IN CLOTHING.
2. SHOULD NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR BATHROOM OR YOUR BATHROOM MIRROR.
3. SHOULD BE SOMETHING THAT MOM, DAD AND THE BABY JESUS WOULD APPROVE OF.
(and this is just my personal taste)
4. SHOULDN'T BE SLUTTY OR EVEN SLIGHTLY QUESTIONABLE IN THEIR TASTEFUL NATURE.
sorry for the all caps. I yell cause I care.
-The Gay
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