I know it’s been a long summer and you’ve all been jonesing for some blog brilliance, so never fear! The Blonde is back (although my roots beg to differ) to fully judge folks on FB and fill your sass quota for the week.
Without further ado, let’s jump right in, shall we?
Now, I have a real person job. That’s right, I work in an office with a phone, a computer, a fax machine and letterhead (and sometimes a toddler – listen, that’s beside the point)... I work regular hours and have health insurance. CRAZY RIGHT? I know. I work for an opera company so sometimes I am at the mercy of rather “artistic” personalities. BUT! The other thing that is TOTALLY NUTS is that I have a WORK EMAIL ADDRESS. FOR WORK RELATED THINGS.
So when you, Joe Opera Singer, send me a Facebook message asking about things pertaining to work…I IGNORE YOU. Now, maybe this comes off as cruel or unhelpful of me…but I did try ok? For a while I would respond to FB email as if it were actual email but I eventually discovered that people are a lot more shameless on FB than they would be otherwise. I just want to reiterate that being friends on Facebook is not an accurate indication of our actual level of friendship.
Basically, WE’RE NOT COOL LIKE THAT. I’m sorry you had to find out this way but I think you already knew. It’s not like we hang out or even talk on a regular basis. We are friends on FB because we probably worked together one summer, maybe even had a drink or six together…but that’s pretty much the extent of it. Aside from a status comment here or there or a generic “Happy Birthday!”, I just don’t see us working out. It’s not you…ok, actually, yes it is.
Facebook just isn’t the appropriate venue to ask if there are jobs available, or for my superior’s personal email or information. What did you do in the days before FB, huh? Did you go online and look up a phone number or email address for our office? Yeah, imagine that. Still possible. If you want to send me a message about us hanging out, cool. I might decline – but that is actually a very suitable way to use your FB account.
You’re basically assuming that I have nothing better to do when I’m Facebook than to answer your message about how to get an audition. Listen fool, I’m actually really busy online shopping and organizing my Netflix queue. I need you to step your game up and be a little pro-active ok? Either figure out a more professional, appropriate way of getting in touch with someone or ask a friend. A REAL FRIEND.
Stop crying, it's for your own good. I'm like Dr. Phil up in this bitch.
Let’s hug it out,
The Blonde
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
You look so dumb right now, standing outside my house
Welcome back Kotter
…err only our older readers know that reference. Right so we went all MIA this summer and not in the flying like paper getting high like planes kinda way. We all know what I did this summer, I breached nearly every photo guideline we’ve set here on the DPTOF. It was a good summer. What can I say girls just wanna have fun!
So I was rereading some old DPTOF posts aka brilliant documentation on facebook etiquette awaiting to be published and sold in the kitchy book section of Urban Outfitters along with the zombie guides and FML catalogues or we’d settle for it being the rumored bible for social sites that’s spoken about under the radar but subtly intervening with people’s lives on a daily basis. Get on it people, make it happen. Stop by, pass out our trendy business cards – ask us over for a dramatic reading for all your friends (we do them well).
Right so I was rereading for inspiration, I remind you to please send us thoughts/suggestions for the brilliant blog to pangeaNYC@gmail.com
We’ve already covered a lot of ground; but lets refer to our statistics
Which is an astonishing amount of people that post stupid shit fueling our need to correct or humorously criticize each of the said stupid things. I KNOW, it’s a lot of work, you’re welcome.
This also means we may, at times repeat the same theme of a post such as picture regulations but it will come in the form of site specific incidents to reiterate what the millions of users aren’t grasping. That is until you get our blog published ;)
For now let me just briefly touch on the things I’ve noticed while away:
(Forgive the length but I wasn’t posting for 3 months so I feel this is mild)
What the F*** is Farmville? Do you wanna be on facebook or play some agriculture version of Sims – get outta here with your Farmville picture posting Old McDonald, E-I-E-I-O!
Months back there was a trend of changing your middle name to “Equality” to show support of gay rights. I never touched this before maybe cuz it seemed taboo and I’d seem prejudice, maybe cuz I didn’t see a problem with it -thinking it was the least one could do to show some support. I’m throwing in the towel, the hourglass is up, time to change your name back activist. Who do you think you are Lincoln, MLK? Not gonna happen that way, move on. Try a different tactic, maybe one that makes a difference instead of making a non active stand on your computer. Last time I checked that’s not the way to change laws.
Along with Farmville, I’ve noticed a lot of Zodiac friends photos being posted. Anybody that knows the me behind my ironic alias knows I enjoy astrology as much as the next person, but I can’t get on board with this. What purpose does it serve? I know I’m a Gemini, my bf knows I’m a Gemini, my need for dramatic flare, stirring conflict, overanalyzation and fluttering personality are pretty big clues to the rest of the world I’m a gemini; I don’t need you to tag me in a picture for me to figure it out. And if I wanna know who else on my friend list is also a Gemini, I can look at their birthdate.
You guys hear about Patrick, RIP, or the VMA’s! No, you didn’t – huh, how’s that rock you live under?!? (This one's more of a positive note) I find it impressing how powerful our generation is. The popularity of facebook, which we make thrive, the many uses it demonstrates; it’s become comparable with CNN or any other news media. Facebook tells us what loved celebrity just died to the latest Kanye faux pas. Thanks for keeping us to date with current events facebook.
Stay tuned for an eventual posting on the the new feature to tag friends in a wall post. Jury’s still out on this one, I’ll let you know when the verdict is in. Till then explore, I dare ya.
Taking the bra off now, I’m in for the night ;)
Shout out: If you live in Hamilton Heights, get some pepper spray, a kubotan, lock up your fire escape and don’t get in an elevator with a creepy suspecting douche that doesn’t push a button – in short don’t get raped. Let’s catch this asshat!
Over and Out Goose,
The Slut!
…err only our older readers know that reference. Right so we went all MIA this summer and not in the flying like paper getting high like planes kinda way. We all know what I did this summer, I breached nearly every photo guideline we’ve set here on the DPTOF. It was a good summer. What can I say girls just wanna have fun!
So I was rereading some old DPTOF posts aka brilliant documentation on facebook etiquette awaiting to be published and sold in the kitchy book section of Urban Outfitters along with the zombie guides and FML catalogues or we’d settle for it being the rumored bible for social sites that’s spoken about under the radar but subtly intervening with people’s lives on a daily basis. Get on it people, make it happen. Stop by, pass out our trendy business cards – ask us over for a dramatic reading for all your friends (we do them well).
Right so I was rereading for inspiration, I remind you to please send us thoughts/suggestions for the brilliant blog to pangeaNYC@gmail.com
We’ve already covered a lot of ground; but lets refer to our statistics
Facebook has more than 200 million active users
More than 100 million users log on to Facebook at least once each day
More than two-thirds of Facebook users are outside of college
The fastest growing demographic is those 35 years old and older
Which is an astonishing amount of people that post stupid shit fueling our need to correct or humorously criticize each of the said stupid things. I KNOW, it’s a lot of work, you’re welcome.
This also means we may, at times repeat the same theme of a post such as picture regulations but it will come in the form of site specific incidents to reiterate what the millions of users aren’t grasping. That is until you get our blog published ;)
For now let me just briefly touch on the things I’ve noticed while away:
(Forgive the length but I wasn’t posting for 3 months so I feel this is mild)
What the F*** is Farmville? Do you wanna be on facebook or play some agriculture version of Sims – get outta here with your Farmville picture posting Old McDonald, E-I-E-I-O!
Months back there was a trend of changing your middle name to “Equality” to show support of gay rights. I never touched this before maybe cuz it seemed taboo and I’d seem prejudice, maybe cuz I didn’t see a problem with it -thinking it was the least one could do to show some support. I’m throwing in the towel, the hourglass is up, time to change your name back activist. Who do you think you are Lincoln, MLK? Not gonna happen that way, move on. Try a different tactic, maybe one that makes a difference instead of making a non active stand on your computer. Last time I checked that’s not the way to change laws.
Along with Farmville, I’ve noticed a lot of Zodiac friends photos being posted. Anybody that knows the me behind my ironic alias knows I enjoy astrology as much as the next person, but I can’t get on board with this. What purpose does it serve? I know I’m a Gemini, my bf knows I’m a Gemini, my need for dramatic flare, stirring conflict, overanalyzation and fluttering personality are pretty big clues to the rest of the world I’m a gemini; I don’t need you to tag me in a picture for me to figure it out. And if I wanna know who else on my friend list is also a Gemini, I can look at their birthdate.
You guys hear about Patrick, RIP, or the VMA’s! No, you didn’t – huh, how’s that rock you live under?!? (This one's more of a positive note) I find it impressing how powerful our generation is. The popularity of facebook, which we make thrive, the many uses it demonstrates; it’s become comparable with CNN or any other news media. Facebook tells us what loved celebrity just died to the latest Kanye faux pas. Thanks for keeping us to date with current events facebook.
Stay tuned for an eventual posting on the the new feature to tag friends in a wall post. Jury’s still out on this one, I’ll let you know when the verdict is in. Till then explore, I dare ya.
Taking the bra off now, I’m in for the night ;)
Shout out: If you live in Hamilton Heights, get some pepper spray, a kubotan, lock up your fire escape and don’t get in an elevator with a creepy suspecting douche that doesn’t push a button – in short don’t get raped. Let’s catch this asshat!
Over and Out Goose,
The Slut!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Oh the bitch is back. Stone cold sober as a matter of fact.
I've officially been outed.
No, not in that way...that awkwardly happened my freshman year of college. I mean in a different way.
I've been outed as a facebook stalker...well sort of...
I was elated to see that I'd been tagged in some new pictures and to my horror was surprised to see that I'd been tagged in a "fan check" photo. If you aren't familiar yet, you'd best get ready, cause facebook stalking will now be forever changed. Fan checks, per the application website, is "The application that ranks your friends based on how often they interact with your Facebook wall. Interactions counted include wall posts, comments, likes, gifts and other public items posted to your wall. In accordance with the Facebook Privacy Policy, we do NOT count page views or private messages."
You don't YET, but you WILL Facebook, and then what options will I have to find out the latest gossip other than going to people and having face to face interaction? Call me a conspiracy theorist or whatever, but I feel like this is the beginning of the end.
I love the book of faces for many, many reason, but I value it for stalking most of all. I live for the "like" button and to comment on people's stati. But now I feel I must censor myself, for fear of being tagged in too many of those damn fan check photo's. I mean everyone can probably guess I spend waaaaay too much time on facebook, but until now there was no documented proof. I could delude myself into thinking I commented as much as everyone else, but now here it is staring me in the face. A reality I didn't want or need. I have to find a new hobby.
School's back in session bitches.
-Pangea's fallen member AKA THE GAY
P.S. How priceless was Taylor Swift's face when Kanye stole the mic last night?
P.P.S How much did you miss the blog?
No, not in that way...that awkwardly happened my freshman year of college. I mean in a different way.
I've been outed as a facebook stalker...well sort of...
I was elated to see that I'd been tagged in some new pictures and to my horror was surprised to see that I'd been tagged in a "fan check" photo. If you aren't familiar yet, you'd best get ready, cause facebook stalking will now be forever changed. Fan checks, per the application website, is "The application that ranks your friends based on how often they interact with your Facebook wall. Interactions counted include wall posts, comments, likes, gifts and other public items posted to your wall. In accordance with the Facebook Privacy Policy, we do NOT count page views or private messages."
You don't YET, but you WILL Facebook, and then what options will I have to find out the latest gossip other than going to people and having face to face interaction? Call me a conspiracy theorist or whatever, but I feel like this is the beginning of the end.
I love the book of faces for many, many reason, but I value it for stalking most of all. I live for the "like" button and to comment on people's stati. But now I feel I must censor myself, for fear of being tagged in too many of those damn fan check photo's. I mean everyone can probably guess I spend waaaaay too much time on facebook, but until now there was no documented proof. I could delude myself into thinking I commented as much as everyone else, but now here it is staring me in the face. A reality I didn't want or need. I have to find a new hobby.
School's back in session bitches.
-Pangea's fallen member AKA THE GAY
P.S. How priceless was Taylor Swift's face when Kanye stole the mic last night?
P.P.S How much did you miss the blog?
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